A completely unqualified but deeply accurate checklist
There comes a moment (usually sometime between crying at a commercial and wanting to physically beat up your thermostat) when you pause and think:
“Is this menopause… or am I just losing it?”
And the answer is: Yes.
But not in the way you think.
Because menopause doesn’t exactly arrive with a neat little welcome packet. It shows up more like an uninvited guest who:
-
rearranges your furniture
-
eats all your snacks
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and occasionally sets small emotional fires
So let’s walk through a few signs. Not the clinical ones, the real ones.
🔥 1. The Thermostat Has Become Your Mortal Enemy
You are freezing, sweating, and furious, sometimes all within the same 90 seconds.
You have adjusted the temperature 14 times. You have briefly wondered if arson would “reset the vibe.”
This is not you losing it. This is your internal temperature control system going on a little sabbatical.
😭 2. You Cry at… Honestly, Anything
A dog. A chair. A slightly aggressive email sign-off.
You’re not even sad. You’re just… leaking.
This is not instability. This is emotional roulette.
🧠 3. Your Brain Has Left the Chat
You walk into a room and immediately forget why. You open your phone and stare at it like it has personally betrayed you.
This is not cognitive decline. This is your brain briefly buffering.
😡 4. The Rage. Oh, the Rage.
Someone breathes too loudly and suddenly you’re imagining a full monologue about respect, boundaries, and possibly exile.
This is not who you’ve become. This is a hormonal pop-up storm with no warning.
💤 5. Sleep Is Now… Conceptual
You’re tired. So, so tired.
But when it’s time to sleep: your brain will present old conversations, new anxieties, and a vague sense of urgency at precisely 3:17am.
This is not failure. This is menopause playing a long, confusing game.
🤷♀️ 6. You Don’t Feel Like Yourself… But You Can’t Explain Why
This is the one no one really prepares you for.
It’s not just the symptoms. It’s the feeling of being slightly… off.
You’re not. You’re in transition.
❤️ The Part That Actually Matters
If any of this sounds familiar, the brain fog, rage, hot flashes. You are not alone.
Sometimes the most reasonable response to all of this is to laugh, name it, and know that nothing about this makes you broken.
🎉 Final Thought
If menopause had a sign, it might read:
“System undergoing updates. Emotions may fluctuate. Snacks recommended.” (especially chocolate)
And honestly? That feels about right.
A hub for fierce women who want to regain their sanity — through humor, empowerment, connection & visibility.
Michelle Cohen & Peter Daniel Straus (Co-Founders) are experts at unusual entertainment & dedicated to healing through humor, shifting perspective and easing everyone into this time of life in a less scary way. They just want you to feel better. Michelle (original Off-Broadway producer of Schoolhouse Rock Live!), learned from that classic TV cartoon series how to deliver impact through the magic of irresistible cartoons. Peter (“Pierre the Mime” on both TV's Impractical Jokers AND The Kardashians) has spent decades working in major hospitals around the country as his "clown doctor" persona Dr. Peety (very fake doctor, very real comedian), bringing light and laughter to very challenging spaces where it's truly needed.
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